Totokkinderen in the Netherlands
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010Readers of the latter archipelago like me who regularly Indian magazines, books and web sites or visiting know it already: Indo and Indo is in a relationship usually does. That is my experience. That for me has nothing to do with the old mores within Indo-circles with a Dutch man or woman to marry. In the past I've dated a few times by an Indo-European man, hoping to make them more recognition and understanding to find than their Dutch, Surinamese or Kenyan pastors. Moreover, they often simply gorgeous to look at and yes, my eye wants something.
Was indeed no lack of recognition. Indeed, this was too much. How beautiful and sweet the Indo-men were, every time I post a few weeks of confusion and regret taken leave of them. The feeling of togetherness, we-are-with-each-connected in no time got the upper hand: all fueling feelings of romantic love and lust hormone decreased rapidly to absolute zero.
But now. Now I have a relationship with a child totoks. I feel for him in my place, I feel for his family at my place. His parents know the neighborhoods where my parents grew up, the camps where my grandparents have been the ship which my father's family came to the Netherlands (my mother has flown here). The wanderlust that my family and many other Indian families in the blood, which has also infected him, just as easy to deal with other cultures.
My friend understands where it comes from people when I say I do not want to 'pass'. Together we can Indian cooking if we once have a kumpulan. If I tell him I again agree with a deceased relative have spoken, he did not look mad at. And while I do not feel the same family with recognition as Eurasians, nor the side effects associated with it.
Yet he calls himself not Indian, just Dutch. In one of my best friends is like that. They call themselves Dutch, but her mother-totok was born and raised in Surabaya. The Indian paintings on the wall, expressions and not to mention the accent, cried frequently a feeling of coming home to. No wonder I was a child at home. Could there be more totokkinderen Indian who can not mention, but, perhaps without realizing it, something of use have taken over?
I suddenly think back to a book launch of The History of Indian Dutch Wim Willems in 2006. One of the people in the audience at Van Stockum bookstore in The Hague said he was himself a totok well as Indian Dutchman saw. For his children was not, he said firmly: "I am Indian. My children no longer. "I wonder how much recognition I feel if I would meet. Because it would just be a nice side-effect of almost 300 years of colonialism is that the Netherlands is much Indischer than we realize. With that comforting thought before I close my columns Archipelago magazine like it.
This is my last column for magazine Archipelago . He was placed in the spring 2010 edition. As the editors have announced a new focus to choose where I do not feel at home, I instead starting next month for blogging www.denhaagdirect.nl .
Jeroen Mann says:
March 23rd, 2010
7:19 p.m.
Will you direct us to explain what a denhaag totok is? Because I can honestly say I do not know.
Kirsten says:
March 23rd, 2010
7:28 p.m.
Jeroen Mann says:
March 24th, 2010
10:50 p.m.
So my ancestors?
Kirsten says:
March 25th, 2010
0:16
Yes, indeed!
Patrick W says:
March 27th, 2010
0:44
A nice closing statements. Too bad you quit, but every success in denhaagdirect.nl
Kirsten says:
March 27th, 2010
1:39
@ PatrickW: Thank you!